Are you stuck, stressed out, or frustrated by unhealthy behavioural patterns that are choking the life out of your relationships? Feel like giving up? For Sherry Lukey and the clients she has helped, this isn’t the time to tap out, but to “tap your crap” and move on.
Sherry Lukey is an internationally accredited advanced EFT tapping practitioner with certification in matrix reimprinting. For years she has helped people improve their personal and professional relationships and transform their lives. It’s about identifying and overcoming our limiting subconscious beliefs programmed into us during early childhood. It’s about creating new, positive associations that are aligned with our desires to live well. If other modalities have not worked for you, maybe it’s time to try tapping.
EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) tapping works by stimulating high concentrations of nerve endings (acupressure points), turning off the stress response, and sending calming signals to the brain and harnessing its full potential. Having developed a signature method called Tapping Infinite Potential, Sherry offers a selection of programs that can help you go deep and root out belief systems that no longer serve you. A speaker, self-described obsessive learner, and family woman who has worked through her own personal challenges, Sherry understands the courage required to make profound and meaningful changes in your life.
Tempting food and (up & coming?) scorching weather are bound to be responsible for some stomach aches and sun burns. I am sure there will be a few beverages and burgers consumed in the sun.
As I am trying to morph my family and teach our clients to stay away from over the counter solutions to our daily discomforts, I have discovered many natural resources. Here are a few natural tips and alternatives to keep you from going over the edge and a few more if you happen to forget that there is an edge, finding yourself wallowing in remorse.
Did you know?
A lump or a so-called tumor appears for a very good reason if you trust the Laws of Nature and recognize that your body has an amazing intelligence well beyond scientific knowledge. A tumor is your body’s way of walling off invasive toxic debris that is present in your blood stream. Your body creatively finds a very safe avenue to create a wall around these poisons so that they do not harm the rest of your body. How miraculous! If you decide to expose this lump to injury via a biopsy or a surgery to remove it imagine what starts to happen. Now that amazing disposal system has been removed. The body has no longer a system of depositing unwanted poisons and they continue to float freely in the blood harming other organs and glands. The toxins in the blood have nowhere to go until another wall is created or the poisons start irritating another organ until a cancer is formed.
DeAnna Zein helps save lives — ones lost to paralyzing anxiety, depression, or physical health issues. As a registered counsellor and certified fitness trainer who has faced her own personal struggles, DeAnna is uniquely equipped to meet her clients’ needs head-on and design counselling and coaching programs tailored to tackle their specific challenges. Compassionate, non-judgmental, and results-oriented, she guides them to clarity so they can overcome mental and physical health obstacles and begin enjoying life as they were meant to live it.
DeAnna also works with clients suffering from PMDD (premenstrual dysphoric disorder), which can rob women of their well-being, hamper their careers, and destroy their relationships. Refusing to accept the hopelessness brought on by this severe form of PMS, and the belief that surgery is the only way out, she creates a 5-step plan of attack to help women take back their lives. She can help you reclaim yours.
I was thrilled DeAnna took the time from her busy schedule to talk to us about the empowering work she does.
What first fascinated me about your work is that you combine counselling with coaching, addressing both the psychological and the physical. What a powerful mix! Given the loop between the mind and the body, how do you begin when a client comes to you? What are some of the first questions you ask?
I always begin with the client’s current story. Questions are tailored specifically to each client, and really vary depending on their individual circumstances. First we explore what’s not working in their life, get crystal clear on the current picture and the outcome we are looking for. Together we then develop a step-by-step plan based on the client’s specific vision they want for themselves.
We explore past events that may be contributing to the current situation, and we also explore the client’s values, belief systems, passions, and interests.
Our step-by-step plan involves eliminating any anxiety and worry, controlling the client’s relationship with food, or untangling the confusion that has built up over the course of their life. My counselling and coaching is very action focused. We don’t stay in the problem very long; we move quickly into taking the steps to help them change their current situation.
This brings me to your weight-loss coaching. Another salient principle of your work is the importance of maintaining discipline and forming better habits. This can apply to so many aspects of our lives, but why do so many struggle in this area of well-being?
There are so many factors that contribute to one’s struggles with weight loss. I find the individual’s relationship with food is the biggest struggle for most people. After years of trying every diet out there, my clients come to me exhausted and feeling hopeless about achieving weight loss. My first course of action is to eliminate dieting completely!
Diets are the WORST culprit for weight loss, and research shows that 30 percent of people who lose weight through dieting actually end up gaining more weight than before starting their diet.
The truth is, the more you restrict your eating, the more likely you are to binge eat or over-indulge later. More and more research is showing that intuitive eating:
- Promotes long-term weight loss
- Improves self-esteem
- Increases good cholesterol
- Helps a person gain control over their eating
- Helps individuals identify and address their true emotions
- Promotes body appreciation and acceptance
- Decreases binge eating episodes
- Decreases emotional eating
In addition to intuitive eating, we focus on the behavioural habits as well as the emotional, social, and biological aspects that may be preventing the individual from achieving their health goals. This can include:
- Life stressors
- The individual’s social network
- History of eating disorders
Tell us a bit about your background, your personal challenges, and why you ventured into the work you do.
I have honestly been interested in the human mind and body for as long as I can remember. From a very young age, I was a peer counsellor at school, and I can remember having friends over after school to do workouts as far back as middle school.
Having these interests did not come without challenges. I struggled with eating disorders and body image for many years. I’ve been inactive and overweight, and I’ve also been through stages of compulsive exercise and starvation. Looking back, there is ALWAYS an emotional/situational factor that contributes to the “desire to be thin,” as well as the need to stuff one’s emotions — a.k.a., to binge eat.
The devil inside our heads plays such a role in every aspect of our lives. Back then, the story inside my head was that I was only worthy if I was thin, if the number on the scale went down every day, and during my divorce I remember only feeling beautiful if my ribs were showing. Looking back, this makes me so sad to think I felt this way.
Since then, I have grown immensely. I truly feel this is what contributes to my passion to help and serve others. After living the hell firsthand, you can really connect and relate to the individual you work with, and you can truly instil hope for change.
In addition to weight-loss struggles, I have struggled with depression and anxiety for many years. I feel that so many individuals struggle with this at some point in their lives, and the symptoms can be detrimental to their careers, their relationships, and their health. I am equally as passionate about helping individuals overcome depression and anxiety as I am about weight loss. Often my clients struggle with all of the above.
I truly love what I do. I love seeing my clients experience the changes I’ve been through. I love watching them evolve from feeling insecure, anxious, and unhappy to feeling confident, relaxed, and loving themselves from the inside out.
How are the current conditions of this pandemic presenting new challenges — for you and your clients — and how are you dealing with them?
From the momentthe pandemic started, I focused on the opportunities, not the challenges. As a mindset coach, I teach my clients that challenges are always 20 percent logistics, 80 percent psychology. We will continue to have challenges our whole lives, and with every challenge we will grow more mental muscle that will help us take on the next challenge.
I am not disregarding the severity of what’s happening in our world. All I’m saying is that we always have two options when challenges arise. We can buckle with fear, anger, and despair, or we can adjust our sails and alter the way we do things.
My clients and I have used this time to reflect on our lives. Some clients have evaluated their careers and are now pursuing their passions. We practice gratitude daily, still set intentions for each day, and we have found we have more time to focus on our health than ever before.
We focus on the things we can control, not the things we cannot.
What do balance and well-being mean to you?
I could write a whole book about this! I feel that in order to maintain your well-being, you must have balance. The two just go together. I think we can all relate when I say that when one area of your life is out of balance, you don’t feel well.
I do believe that being in balance is different for each individual. For me, I feel in balance when my time is dispersed appropriately between my career, my family, my health (mental and physical), as well as leaving time for personal care — including time to “just be,” with no prior engagements, no responsibility, and pure silence. When one of these is out of balance, my well-being is definitely compromised, I feel stressed, fatigued, and completely out of sorts.
I believe that when a person is living their life based on their true values and they are living life with true authenticity, they have well-being. When our actions become out of line with what we value, we become distressed and unwell. In my practice, I see a lot of distress coming directly from this. Clients know what they value; however, their actions don’t always align with those values.
An example of this is someone who values health. I have women who want to start their families soon, and they want to be healthy and strong not only to bear their children, but also to play an active, healthy role in their children’s lives. These women come to me feeling distressed because they can’t stick to a healthy diet, and they have no motivation to do any physical activity. The distress comes from being out of line with what they value. Together, we work to increase that motivation, develop an action plan, and then work together to keep that accountability and get them back to feeling well.
Tell us something about yourself many might not know — a fun fact, interesting perspective, or entertaining story.
I think I’ll go with a little mindset work here. To anyone out there who lives in the limiting belief that they can’t do something, that their cards weren’t dealt right, or that they aren’t worthy or good enough to achieve their dreams, it’s total BS!
Let go of any belief that you are a victim, and choose victory instead.
Don’t let the devil inside your head tell you anything else besides how capable and worthy you are. No matter where you’ve been, no matter what your past looks like, the future can be anything you want it to be.
- Practice gratitude.
- Connect to your dream and your purpose everyday.
- Focus on serving your client, and the money will follow.
- Whatever you want from life, just ask. The universe will deliver (careful what you wish for).
Tom Kernaghan, owner of Oak Writer
I write stories about people, businesses, and communities so that people will remember what makes them uniquely powerful.
Tell me your story!
ARE YOU SEEKING CALMNESS, PEACE OF MIND, JOY, VIBRANT HEALTH, GREATER ENERGY, POSITIVE RELATIONSHIPS AND FULFILLMENT IN LIFE?
You can enjoy all these benefits and much more, with a regular meditation practice. Meditation offers innumerable benefits for your body, mind and spirit. To experience the benefits of meditation, regular practice is necessary. Once imbibed into the daily routine, meditation becomes the best part of your day! Meditation is like a seed. When you cultivate a seed with love and peace, the more it blossoms.
Meditation has been practiced for thousands of years. Meditation originally was meant to help deepen understanding of the sacred and mystical forces of life. These days, meditation is commonly used for relaxation and stress reduction. Meditation is considered a type of mind-body complementary medicine. Meditation produces a deep state of relaxation and a tranquil mind.
Meditation can give you a sense of calm, peace and balance that benefits both your emotional well-being and your overall health. And these benefits don’t end when your meditation session ends. Meditation can help carry you more calmly through your day and may improve certain medical conditions. Check out my previous article on meditation.
Physical Benefits of Meditation
With meditation, the physiology undergoes a change and every cell in the body is filled with more prana (life force energy). This results in joy, peace, enthusiasm as the level of prana in the body increases.
On a physical level, meditation:
• Lowers high blood pressure
• Lowers the levels of blood lactate, reducing anxiety attacks
• Decreases any tension-related pain, such as, tension headaches, ulcers, insomnia, muscle and joint problems
• Increases serotonin production that improves mood and behaviour
• Improves the immune system
• Increases the energy level
• Slows the aging process! I personally LOVE this one.
Mental Benefits of Meditation
Meditation brings the brainwave pattern into an Alpha state that promotes healing. The mind becomes fresh, delicate and beautiful. With regular practice of meditation:
• Relaxation increases
• Anxiety decreases
• Creativity increases
• Supports intuition
• Gain clarity and peace of mind
• Handle life’s stressors with greater ease
• Sharpens the mind by gaining focus and expands through relaxation
• Support Brain Health- greater memory, concentration, emotional regulation, positive emotions, self control and better introspection and attention.
• Create greater awareness – that your inner attitude determines your happiness.
How does it get any better than this!
CAN YOU FORGIVE?
CAN YOU LET GO OF YOUR RESENTMENTS?
Every person has moments in their life when they are being mistreated by others. All of us experience it. Some more than others. No, it isn’t fair. And no, it isn’t right. Mistreatment is cruel at any level.
I am inspired when people who have been so horrifically abused find the ability to forgive. These are people who have been so unjustly mistreated – innocent, yet still being harmed.
The worst criminals of this world most often began as innocent children who were terribly mistreated. They repeat the pattern because mistreatment is all they know.
Forgiveness is the only way to break this pattern.
Forgiveness is NOT saying that what was done was okay. It wasn’t okay.
Forgiveness literally means ‘to give for’.
Give up your resentment and hatred for peace of mind.
Exchange it like you would an item in a store.
Exchange what you hold for something better.
How can a person forgive another?
It happens when you realize 3 things:
1) You forgive people, not their actions. People always do the best they know how in order to get their needs met. If they are being cruel, this is the best way they know – they have only ever known cruelty. Their real crime is ignorance. If they knew a way that worked better to get what they wanted, they’d do it.
2) People can change. We are all bigger than our behaviours. We can learn new and better ways to get our needs met. Forgiveness offers people the space to grow and change.
3) You don’t forgive others for their sake. You forgive others for your own sake; for your own peace of mind. You accept the possibility that, had you grown up with their families, their life experiences, and told yourself the same stories about those experiences as they did, you would BE them. And in being them, you would do what they do. You realize that by forgiving someone else and giving them space to do better, you are also forgiving yourself for the times you have hurt other people. You also give yourself the space to do better.
Resentment is not a good roommate to have. Evict it.
Let Peace of Mind be your new roommate.
In the video below is a difficult story of forgiveness by Sammy Rangel. Difficult for him to tell and difficult for us to listen to. He shares a couple explicit details of his childhood as he was terribly abused as a child. Be warned. I offer it here exactly because it is difficult. His journey is not one I would ever wish upon anyone, nor would he. And yet, somehow he found (and continues to find) his way through. His healing came through forgiveness.
Don’t watch it if you are sensitive to stories of child abuse.
Simply take comfort in the resilience of humanity and the wonderful fact that people can heal.
Forgiveness is medicine for a hurting soul.
Vulnerability seems to be the favourite buzz word of the moment. Whether you’re watching Brene Brown’s Netflix special on the subject, taking Pema Chodron’s online course, Living with Vulnerability, or reading Elizabeth Lesser’s book, Broken Open, you’re likely hearing the word more often these days.
If we look at the etymology of the word, we get the following:
c. 1600, from Late Latin vulnerabilis “wounding,” from Latin vulnerare “to wound, hurt, injure, maim,” from vulnus (genitive vulneris) “wound,” perhaps related to vellere “pluck, to tear”, or from PIE *wele-nes-, from *wele- (2) “to strike, wound”. From Etymoline.com.
Nothing about this looks very appealing. Why would we want to be wounded? Haven’t we made it our mission as a society to prevent wounds? We’ve erected dwellings, created protective clothing, even developed weapons to ensure our safety and survival.
In fact, we have become a very self-protective society. Before that first date, we might check out our potential beau’s Facebook and Instagram. Many of our homes have security cameras and motion-detection lights to warn us of possible vandals or intruders. We erect fences and enact laws to delineate space between ourselves and others.
So, why break the bubble? Why risk becoming more visible and so more vulnerable? Perhaps, by stepping out from behind the walls we’ve built, we will see the truth of who and what we are.
Whenever we erect a barrier, we push something away. From behind the barrier, we cannot see what that is, and we become afraid of the unknown. We come to see as dangerous anything we don’t understand. Yet, we cannot come to understand it until we take down the wall we’ve erected.
We can wait for death to take the veil from our eyes, or we can choose to wake up in this lifetime and see what is. That means being willing to look at everything we’ve been hiding from, both within ourselves and in the world around us.
What if our wounds are openings into infinity? Pema Chodron talks about that in her course. She discusses sitting with what is uncomfortable until you move through it into openness. It’s very difficult and painful to lean into our discomfort, but we can cultivate compassion for ourselves and others by being willing to go there. We may have less anxiety if we are actually willing to turn toward the mystery of ourselves instead of avoiding it, and hoping the uncomfortable feelings will go away.
What if in turning toward our wounds we discover a doorway not only into ourselves but our compassionate connection with others? Before we specialized our skills and erected buildings to house us separately from one another, we lived and worked together. Tribes only survived as a group. If anyone wandered off on their own, they were at greater risk. It was natural to care for one another, because we were intimately interdependent. We needed everyone in the tribe. No one was expendable.
What if the raw, painful feelings we experience during loss and tragedy are actually doorways to the ultimate happiness? When we shed our walls and let others in, we have an opportunity to feel truly loved and supported, to feel a deeper connection than we may have felt before.
What if a wound is only a wound because something had to be closed in order to open? If we are simply open, does our notion of woundedness cease to exist? Perhaps our wounds are there to remind us that we were closed off in the first place. Perhaps we can see them as an invitation to surrender to the deepest union with ourselves, with each other, with infinity.