CAN YOU FORGIVE?
CAN YOU LET GO OF YOUR RESENTMENTS?
Every person has moments in their life when they are being mistreated by others. All of us experience it. Some more than others. No, it isn’t fair. And no, it isn’t right. Mistreatment is cruel at any level.
I am inspired when people who have been so horrifically abused find the ability to forgive. These are people who have been so unjustly mistreated – innocent, yet still being harmed.
The worst criminals of this world most often began as innocent children who were terribly mistreated. They repeat the pattern because mistreatment is all they know.
Forgiveness is the only way to break this pattern.
Forgiveness is NOT saying that what was done was okay. It wasn’t okay.
Forgiveness literally means ‘to give for’.
Give up your resentment and hatred for peace of mind.
Exchange it like you would an item in a store.
Exchange what you hold for something better.
How can a person forgive another?
It happens when you realize 3 things:
1) You forgive people, not their actions. People always do the best they know how in order to get their needs met. If they are being cruel, this is the best way they know – they have only ever known cruelty. Their real crime is ignorance. If they knew a way that worked better to get what they wanted, they’d do it.
2) People can change. We are all bigger than our behaviours. We can learn new and better ways to get our needs met. Forgiveness offers people the space to grow and change.
3) You don’t forgive others for their sake. You forgive others for your own sake; for your own peace of mind. You accept the possibility that, had you grown up with their families, their life experiences, and told yourself the same stories about those experiences as they did, you would BE them. And in being them, you would do what they do. You realize that by forgiving someone else and giving them space to do better, you are also forgiving yourself for the times you have hurt other people. You also give yourself the space to do better.
Resentment is not a good roommate to have. Evict it.
Let Peace of Mind be your new roommate.
In the video below is a difficult story of forgiveness by Sammy Rangel. Difficult for him to tell and difficult for us to listen to. He shares a couple explicit details of his childhood as he was terribly abused as a child. Be warned. I offer it here exactly because it is difficult. His journey is not one I would ever wish upon anyone, nor would he. And yet, somehow he found (and continues to find) his way through. His healing came through forgiveness.
Don’t watch it if you are sensitive to stories of child abuse.
Simply take comfort in the resilience of humanity and the wonderful fact that people can heal.
Forgiveness is medicine for a hurting soul.