Tara Pilling leans into our conversation, fully present. As we chat, she listens and watches with the attention of a seasoned pro who values a person’s unique essence and talents so that she might help them maximize and realize their potential. The experience is engaging and heartfelt, for it is clear to me that Tara, a veteran lifestyle coach and “peak performance mindset consultant,” knows that we are a community of marvellous individuals seeking meaningful paths to well-being and abundance — and she wants each of us live the life we want.
Tara also understands that our potential is often not met because of barriers, gaps, and blindspots, having surmounted many personal and professional challenges throughout her own life. We all have barriers, and her work is to help you see them, understand them, and then commit to overcoming them, so that you can create a new life based on updated beliefs about yourself. Tara has lots of tools in her kit for this, having travelled widely, studied extensively, and worked with a vast array of clients from around the world.
While Tara offers a variety of modalities — healing arts, yoga, Ayurveda, and the proven principles of human potential expert Bob Proctor — she builds her business on the fundamental truth that reaching our highest goals of success and self-leadership requires self-awareness, a clear mindset, positive focus, accountability, and a new system of daily habits and practices that work. I was thrilled to sit down with her and learn more about what has worked for her and how it can work for you.
First let’s talk about what didn’t work for you. You’ve mentioned some of your early personal and professional challenges. Tell us about your own limiting beliefs and how you began to overcome them.
I grew up with a parent on social services and developed a lot of limiting beliefs around money. I often ask, What was your parents’ relationship to people who were successful and had money? As a society we have a dysfunctional relationship with it that few of us want to address. It’s a systemic problem. We’re told it’s bad to want money or nice things. Money is actually a really wonderful tool or vehicle we can use to do a lot of good and wonderful things on this planet. Bob Proctor has said that a millionaire is someone who can positively impact a million people. I want to leave this world a better place than I found it.
Another problem is that many of us are operating out of a poverty mindset that devalues our skills — the superpower that is ours to offer. Or some say, “I don’t care about money; it doesn’t matter to me.” When I hear that I know the person is being totally dishonest. The flow of money is the perpetual transmutation of energy, an exchange of energy between people. It’s natural to want money and nice things, not to be attached to them, but to live the life we want and do the good we can. The purpose of spirit is to expand and grow, and money creates options and possibilities.
And there is a science to earning it, which Bob Proctor teaches. If we truly recognize that we are born rich, and we have all the riches within us, we can free ourselves from the old, limiting beliefs, and the money will flow. It took time, but this awareness worked for me. After years of resisting, I applied Bob’s principles and in the past year, my income has gone from five figures to six figures. We have to vocalize it, write it down, and embrace the power of thoughts to bring the change we envision. And there’s no greater time on this planet right now to align with these principles and your intention to do good in the world.
And there were more limiting beliefs. You’ve been open online and with me about your brother and the special relationship you have. It’s a story of profound hope and grace — and one of learning. Share some of this story and how it has informed your life and work.
Nathan has been my greatest teacher, in my life and my work. He was born sick, and had a lot of health problems from a young age. As his older sister I formed a belief that I was always responsible for him. When my mom died in the fire when I was nineteen, that only deepened my sense of duty toward Nathan, and my other brothers, Richard and Cam, but especially Nathan because I knew he was really struggling. Later we lost our dad to alcoholism, and my brother was a product of that. He has spent years struggling with addiction and homelessness; some really rough times. I have seen sides of life, even here in this city, that you wouldn’t believe.
For years I was grasping, wondering, “What if he dies?” That would just reinforce how bad or unlovable I was. I felt responsible for helping my parents when they were alive, and I felt responsible for Nathan, and this carried into my work life: I became attached to some of my clients’ outcomes.
One of my first clients in my yoga studio where I did group coaching had such a bad attitude and, blessings to her, I was always scared of her. But I didn’t want to piss her off. I was constantly a bit of a people pleaser, trying not to rock the boat, to make sure she was okay — just like Nathan. This was the worst thing I couldn’t done. I had an opportunity to be brutally honest with her and call her out on her bad attitude. I didn’t realize my attachment to outcome was the product of a weak mind, that I was going in the wrong direction. I still had that old programming that I was responsible for people and their healing, even when they didn’t show up and do the work.
Bob said it isn’t my job to be people’s best friend, or to fix them. Nor is it my right to tell them how to live. He said it’s my job to love them enough to be honest with them, and to believe in their dream and support them as they move toward that; to leave them with the impression of increase. But they have to do the work.
Bob also has a saying, “So within, so without.” People are mirrors in our lives. It’s easy to think that Nathan was the problem I had to fix, just like my clients. I was attracting clients that didn’t want to be helped, who didn’t want to hear the truth. But the real problem and solution was inside of me. Also inside of me was a perfectionism that was holding me back. I didn’t feel I was good enough to be honest enough with people. I resisted. Bob would say I have to get out there and start helping people who want to grow, and learn and grow myself through this process with them.
And I had to look inward. The more I started to dive in through the material and do my own internal work, and commit to it daily, the more I began to recognize patterns and beliefs that were part of the problem, and I saw that my honesty was a superpower. Then change started to happen, both in my life and my relationship with Nathan and with my work. It’s been exciting because after so many years of struggling with addiction, Nathan has now been clean for a year.
When I needed a house and yard manager. Nathan showed up and got to work, doing a fantastic job; he was so excited. He’s been with us a few months now — quite a while for him — and we pay him a fair wage, like an employee. It’s been a great experience, for both of us and our relationship. I’m a different person than I was even a year ago. There’s less grasping. I can’t control what he will do next, but each of us has the power to decide what we do now, what we open up to, which direction we take.
Your range of skills is impressive, and the detailed explanations you offer on your website are illuminating. How do you streamline it all? What do you do when someone first approaches you?
The more tools we have in our tool belt, the more opportunities we have, which is so important because everyone is different. But one vital higher mental faculty is intuition, which can be strengthened, and I’ve really strengthened mine. And a part of my practice, I’ll just share, is I need support. I always ask God. I say, “Make me a conduit of your good work. Tell me what to do, what to say, and to whom.”
Whether that’s in a healing session, a consulting session, or just meeting someone in the grocery store, I know that I am divinely guided. I have faith. A lawyer friend of mine was unhappy in his work, so I suggested he read the book The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari. He said he had heard that many times. Intuitively, I knew that he wouldn’t read it unless someone gifted it to him. So I went out and bought it for him and wrote him a note. He said that was the nicest thing anyone had ever done for him, and he began to read the book.
I listen to the subtle messages I receive and then trust my experience, tools and training. I have training in energy and holistic medicine. I have trained with Anthony Robbins, Robin Sharma, Diederik Wolsak, and Bob Proctor. I’ve been a yoga and meditation teacher. And I have training in access consciousness. My intuition draws on all of these tools and more.
I know that when I meet someone, sit and listen, and they start sharing around something, I will quickly learn where their issues might be. When there is inner conflict, there will be reactivity and resistance, and most people aren’t even aware of it. I trust that my divine guidance, intuition, and training will align and allow me to see, respond, and act (or sometimes not), depending what is called for. I choose not to question it, and it works.
Recently I’ve felt intuitively guided to help more people by offering my healing circles again, to teach what I have learned to clients or whoever wants to jump in. I hold these on Wednesdays at seven in the evening. They are a way to do a deep dive and go to the core of your limiting beliefs systems that go back to how we were raised or even our genetic programming from previous generations.
Speaking of greater numbers and the bigger picture, you’ve talked about the news and the challenges we are all facing right now. Many would argue that it’s important to stay abreast and aware. But doing this without sidelining one’s strength and well-being is difficult. What’s your advice for someone seeking to be informed but not overwhelmed?
Right now a lot of people are definitely not feeling safe or supported; we’re feeling squeezed and controlled by external things. There are a lot of beliefs around that. To me, that’s why there’s no better time than right now to really align yourself with the laws that govern you and realize who you really are at the core of your being, not your body. Understand there’s a deeper program, a deeper belief that is part of the problem.
We’re seeing a reflection of what’s going on in the masses right now. Personally, I’m either going to be part of that problem, which needs to be expressed externally, or I’m going go inside and be part of the solution. This is what real leadership is about. Recognizing that this situation on the planet has caused upset or grief for me, and then exploring what that says about me and addressing that.
Now, there are many things that don’t even trigger me. If anything, I get excited, because this is a time for me to really go inside and be a better leader — at home, at work, or in the world. I believe that I’ve been prepared for this time. And any triggers we do experience are valuable because they’re just showing us that there’s a deeper programming of beliefs connected to self image. So when I do the inner work, I’m part of the solution.
History and disease repeat themselves. We have not learned. So, how do we strengthen ourselves and guard against these and create a better world? Again, we have to understand the mind and body are connected. We first have to deal with the mind and align with the higher laws that govern us and our higher mental faculties. We have to develop our faith and have a bigger goal, a bigger dream, a bigger focus to move toward. Whether you call it a creator, or the universe, or God, when we have faith in life and in ourselves, we know that all things are possible, that nothing is being done to us, and that events are opportunities for each of us to expand and grow.
If someone is considering approaching you for help, what should they do, know, or ask themselves?
You have to have a desire to get better results. If you don’t have a desire, then you’ve probably given up on yourself, and I encourage people not to give up on themselves. There’s a mantra that goes, “You have to do it yourself, and you can’t do it alone.” I’ve been in those crappy spaces, where you feel all alone and not supported and you don’t know what to do. But there was something in me, call them divine nudges, that knew I had to reach out to people who were getting better results, to mentors who had the wisdom.
I’ve spent a big portion of my life studying with some of the best on the planet. Many think it was easy for me, but it was the exact opposite! I was a mess for most of my life. I get it. Now, I want to see people get they support they need to move forward.
I’ll help anybody, and I have. I’ve helped homeless people get back on their feet as well as some high-functioning people who still aren’t getting the results they want. It all depends on what vibrational level they are ready to move toward. I’m very picky about who I work with; there has to be a vibrational match. They have to show up with purpose, with a desire to quantum-leap their results.
If there’s no desire to get better results, then it’s just a waste of time. That’s what I did for years with Nathan. He didn’t want to get better; didn’t want his grasping sister trying to save him. When I meet someone new, I can tell right away if they’re ready.
Perfect place to talk about the Diamond Mind Academy! In a recent video you say, “The leader you are looking for is you.” I love that. Tell us more about this training program and new direction.
It’s a four-day event starting on December 7 and it’s called “Shine Like a Diamond,” because we’re all diamonds in the rough, often unable to recognize ourselves because of all the programming and beliefs that have been given to us. This training is principles and practices to align you with the laws that govern you, so that you can start moving toward the life that you want in 2021.
I want the new year to be better! I have big goals. And I believe the purpose of life is to give, to serve, and a lot of people need support right now. So, we’ll be shining up and offering this training at no cost. It’s a complimentary event, one I aim to offer every eight weeks going forward. There will be opportunities to work with me and Bob, and I’ll have a team of leaders supporting me. Anyone can show up. If they want to learn more, great; if not, that’s fine too. There’s no attachment.
Tell us fun fact, interesting perspective, or engaging story about yourself that most wouldn’t know.
I’ve always been very athletic. I love sports. And I raced jet skis as a Canadian racer at Lake Havasu, Arizona, in 1994, and I made it to the world finals!
And I’ve always loved team sports. I played rugby, believe it or not. It helped me after my mom passed away. I still love it. It’s a brutal sport, but it’s one where you truly have to work together as a team.
For me, being able to move my body has helped me assimilate my experiences and the trauma that was held within, which is why I was intuitively drawn to yoga when I was young, before and then after my mom passed. I am so grateful I was introduced to it. I could’ve easily gone into alcohol and drugs at that time of suffering. Instead, I really leaned into a physical practice of meditation and yoga, and I do believe it saved me.
Tom Kernaghan, owner of Oak Writer
I write stories about people, businesses, and communities so that people will remember what makes them uniquely powerful.
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