Why Not Forgive? By Chris Patton

Someone has wronged you, again. You seem destined to suffer at the hands of those close to you and not so close. Why does this keep happening? Why me????

BECAUSE IT IS YOU!!! I say that kindly, and with love and understanding because I’ve been there. Before I knew, without doubt, that life is a mirror for our self- development (which is not an option, by the way), I used to wonder what was wrong with the world, and with others. Then, as I opened to knew information and experiences, I learned how life really worked. And boy, was that understanding necessary to navigate the inevitable turmoil that life likes to throw my way!

I had to learn that forgiveness was a skill I needed to learn and that it was not weakness, but a strength. Here’s why:

“Forgiveness blesses everything. It surrounds us with grace.

Forgiveness is not what happens when someone has done something wrong, but you in your spiritual superiority have the magnanimity to forgive. That is not forgiveness, but judgment- supercilious and, at its core, self-righteous.

Real forgiveness, from a metaphysical perspective, means we realize that only love is real. All the love we have ever received is real, and all the love we ever gave is real. Everything else is a hallucination of the mortal mind. This doesn’t mean it is not happening in physical terms, but only that beyond the physical is another world. Through the eyes of forgiveness, we can see that world. Through grace, we can actually go there.

Forgiveness would have us overlook each other’s errors, not in a naïve way but in a wise way. I might register something you did, and duly note it. But that doesn’t mean I have to hold it against you. The faults of the personality are not the sins that God would punish, but rather mistakes that He would correct. Forgiveness is a divine corrective that lifts us above the pain of life and delivers us to higher, sweeter ground…it doesn’t make us weaker but very much stronger, as it brings our personalities into alignment with the knowledge of the soul…it stands for the possibility of transformation and renewal. It repudiates the insidious ways that the ego mind would have us attack each other, in large ways and small. International and domestic conflicts emerge from the same point, and will end in the same point. Forgiveness is the salvation of the human race.” (Marianne Williamson, ENCHANTED LOVE, The Mystical Power of Intimate Relationships).

I have heard that carrying a grudge is like swallowing poison and expecting the other person to die. Yeah…kinda dumb. Forgiveness frees US from the chains of pain and heaviness associated with anger, jealousy, betrayal or any other depleting mindset. It kicks out the rabid and toxic feelings that hang around rent-free.

It does not mean that the person or situation is not wrong, it simply means that you find peace within yourself to find the solution. Calm brings clarity, and clarity solves problems. As you find yourself outside the problem, it often feels smaller than when you were in the middle of it-and manageable.

Practise with a small situation that is bugging you. Try on the act of seeing that the situation really has nothing to do with you, has everything to do with the development or evolution of the other person or institution perpetuating it, and you are only responsible for you. When you stay in your lane, clean up your own backyard and let go of what isn’t yours (all clichés-I know), there is a tremendous freedom that will overtake you. And now you can breathe free and easy. Feels good huh? Tell me how that went-and then we can all cheer for you!      chris@powerwithin.ca

Christine Patton

Founder at Power Within; Performance Coach; Inspirational Speaker; Author; HeartMath trainer.

Comments are closed.